Online Dating Advice – Composing And Sending That First Opening Message
When it comes to online dating, one of the most daunting tasks can be writing that first message to someone. Many people are nervous about introducing themselves, which in most cases is due to their fear of rejection.
Don’t be nervous about writing that first message. What do you have to lose? It’s not a face-to-face encounter with all of your friends watching to see if you get turned down. The worst thing that can happen is a response of “thanks, but I’m not interested”, or you get no response at all.
Before you send a message make sure to read the whole profile of the person you are writing to. This will give you a better sense of the person’s interests, which will in turn give you some ideas of what to talk about in your first message. It will also relate to that you actually took the time to read and appreciate their profile, which gets you points from the start.
Consider joining a niche dating site where you already have something in common with most of the members, this will also make it easier for you to find things to talk about. For example, if you’re seeking Equestrian Singles consider a site such as TheHitchingPost.net, the Hitching Post is an online community exclusively for American and Canadian cowboys, cowgirls, horse enthusiasts, farmers, ranchers, equestrian singles, and those into the country lifestyle!
Don’t get too carried away in the first initial message. This is just an introduction of yourself. Keep the message short and simple and light hearted. Something like, “Hello, I was reading over your profile and found that we seem to have a lot in common. If you would be interested in maybe getting to know each other a little better, please feel free to message anytime”. You can also mention one or two key things if you want, but usually this is sufficient as a starter to get the ball rolling.
Don’t include any pick-up lines. Pick-up lines always come off sounding insincere and may result in your message hitting the trash bin without a second thought.
Don’t try too hard to impress someone with your first message. First impressions are important, but if you go over board, you may not be able to live up to the impression you depicted. Also, don’t spend a great deal of time talking about yourself either – give the person a chance to reply and inquire more about you.
The best part about online dating is anonymity and the lack of a face-to-face confrontation. This is especially ideal for shy or insecure individuals who want to build up their confidence. Also, this gives you the comfort of knowing that if things become too intense or if the person does not turn out to be what you expected, you can easily back off and just ignore them. Most dating sites have a feature that allows you to block members from contacting you any further.
If the first message happens to go well and they are responding, don’t get overly keyed up and start rushing things too fast. Take a step back, enjoy the process of getting to know someone gradually. The better friends you become first, the more likely the relationship has in lasting.
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